Lenten reflections from 2017-18 corps member Rebecca Cole.
I may have gotten a little over ambitious when it came to Lent this year. I figure that since this is a year devoted to faith development, I should do all of the things I have considering giving up in the past. So I gave up makeup. And Netflix. And meat. And social media.
I had an idea that since I would have so much free time on my hands, I would magically fall into doing things I was aspiring to: reading more, praying more, exercising more. However, I began to “cheat” with these things. (The Bachelor is on ABC.com and not Netflix right?! #teambecca)
That being said, I did convince myself to pray more and read more scripture than I usually do. I found to my surprise that the more I did it, the more I had a craving for it. But still, it was often easy to convince myself not to. It reminds me of exercise- the 15 minutes before while you are convincing yourself to do it are the worst.
It is a friendly reminder to push through the excuses, fear, and, frankly, laziness that often inhibits my prayer life.
Some food for thought from our 2017-18 corps member, Rebecca Cole.
Over the last few weeks, and especially in this last week as part of the beginning of Lent, I have been thinking about what kind of Christian I am called to be. During one of our Monday night Eucharists, the priest expressed that Lent is not a time simply to be somber, but to shed all of the extra “pretty” things in order to focus on what is important.
This has led me to think about the people in my life who have most influenced my faith. It occurred to me how lucky I am because of all the different ways I have seen people display being a follower of Christ. Some have done so through their careers, others in volunteer work, and still others in their very presence when they interact with others.
However, it has also lead me to question different stereotypes and arbitrary lines I have drawn around groups of Christians- the SEC college ministry group Christians, the Christians who often speak about being saved, the Christians who identify as Christian but do not actively participate in organized faith, and those who I will call “Facebook Christians” who often have a Cross with an American flag background as a profile picture.
I think one of my biggest faults is that I identify more as “Episcopalian” as I do “Christian.” Given the depth and breadth of violence that has been done in the name of Christ, I do not think that tendency is totally unwarranted. Still, beyond the fact that the Episcopal Church has been complicit, even active, in oppression, it is still fundamentally problematic to dissociate myself from those that also consider themselves followers of Christ.
Kevin preached on our retreat in Colorado! Read his awesome sermon below.
Lectionary Year B: 4th Sunday after Epiphany
Howdy! My name is Kevin Dean Rysted, and I am a member of the Episcopal Service Corps. I am currently living in community at the Deaconess Anne House in Old North, St. Louis, MO. Oklahoma is where I grew up and went to college. I have always been active in the Episcopal Church, but am comfortable that I also have desire to worship God beyond where the Episcopal Church is usually present.
The Deuteronomy passage declares a promise: a leader, strong in the Word, will rise up amongst you to lead you. Not just does God promise that the people will be led by one of their own, but goes on to say that the leader’s fate is tied to the group. Where they suffer, the leader will not prosper; where they prosper, the leader will not suffer. It is sometimes tough to see this promise in verses 18-20. However, this commitment is extremely crucial to understanding the true form of “Obedience, or Fear of God,” that God demands of Israel. Specifically, understanding that this was said right before the coming of Joshua--a blessed conquering prophet that brought Israel (or at least most tribes) into their promised land. No longer (so they think) will they be ruled by oppressors or starve in a desert. Therefore, if Joshua’s prophecy was false, it would mean direct pain for entire groups of God’s people. Similarly, if the people denied Joshua’s prophecy it would mean taking more than their tribe’s portion or spoiling the promise to other tribes. One last note, I do not believe that this passage just predicts Joshua.
Read the Psalm 111:5-6, 9: these lines further capture the sentiment I understand in the Hebrew 'Fear of God’ with another concrete, political-economic covenant. It is not just a promise to be kind to Israel, or to be merciful in some far-off, mystical future judgement. It is a contract of Equity for a group of generationally oppressed people trying to figure out how to rule with God. In the wake of the Babylonian empire being defeated, and the Jewish people’s return to Jerusalem, this psalmist wants to remind the people of how society works under the One True God.
The 1 Corinthians passage is a staple in my view of Christian ethics, but I will instead turn to a transitory line that might not have been intended to be taken out of context. However, I think it is in good taste with the other parts of the passage: “”Knowledge” puffs up, but love builds up.” This idea fits so well into the sentiment expressed in authentic conversion experiences that I have heard testimony about. It is not 'knowledge’ of God that makes one believe, but a Grace filled Love that transcends something as fickle as 'knowledge’. It is not simply knowledge of someone’s story that builds relationship, but love.
Finally, in our passage today from Mark, we get to see the rest of these passages through a lens. I want all of us to consider this passage in the shoes of a typical person in the synagogue. Jesus models for us the ideal for what living in Love and not Knowledge looks like! He goes into synagogue and teaches, however he's just some country hick from Nazareth (What good thing ever came from Nazareth?). How can he know so much? Don't we know the only story we need to know about those rebellious, troublesome northerners?! ….. Immediately thereafter, Jesus goes and does what I call “weird”. He casts out demons without invoking the power of exorcism he's using. It's not, “... In the name of Solomon” or “... In the name of Elijah” but just a pure command. This is novel stuff. To top it off, Jesus followed in the tradition of Galilean rabbis by disregarding the strict rules of Sabbath. There are so many instances in this story where we can now see the iconoclastic message Jesus is presenting: y'all have made God way too much about 'Knowledge’ by forgetting the point of the covenant. God saves us. Remember 'Fear of God’ = love of neighbor.
Now that we have reviewed our wonderful readings for today, which are so full of amazing content and diverse application, let me pose a question for brief contemplation. What should society look like for God's people right here, right now, in real life--your life? ...repeat... *after a short silence….
In my life, this question has meant that:
First: I imagine what I hope the society of God to look like, not in some paradise devoid of the traces of familiarity, but in this context and world.
Second: How am I delaying or denying the Kindom? I look for groups that I might be ostracizing by action or apathy. I look for direct mechanisms that I take part in that cause harm.
Finally: I need to seriously figure out how I feel God already moving. Are there any leaders already present, is there momentum to grab ahold of?
So, what does this actually look like? I will provide my answer, not because I think that it is inherently valuable, but that it might be useful as an example.
I imagine my neighbors in Old North having a deep sense of belonging in the Deaconess Anne House community. On cold days, we gather around the campfire or huddle against the radiators inside. We break bread together and talk about anything. We give thanks for all of Creation responsible for bringing this food to our table. We praise God for a life well lived, and ask God to stay with us through the rough. We work hand in hand to expand our familial bond to new people and groups, pushing our circle wider. This mutualism also goes on to increase the productivity of our projects, yielding more reclaimed gardens, more local business, and less empty homes.
I am delaying this vision by failing to properly engage neighbors where they are at. Specifically, I do not go into the southern part of the neighborhood too often, and I don't meet too many people from outside of a few blocks. Also, my prioritization of other activities takes me away from the neighborhood: my church, my job, my gym, and my grocery are all not in the neighborhood. I have not engaged people at their homes who might have limited accessibility or who are new to the neighborhood.
Yet, have a neighborhood organization that is already doing amazing things to build up this neighborhood. We have a fierce leader, Jessica, who is looking at what the people of the neighborhood actually want in the form of any development. We have made a few friends that might get us involved with networks already present. There are a handful of churches that I could join in prayer with. There is already a spectacular gardening system, putting people who have never seen the food they eat growing in the soil, with a permaculture design course instructor and Master gardeners alike. The local business scene is resilient despite harsh economics at times. There are wonderful community events in our public spaces. I am gracious that there is an Episcopal Service Corps communal home in that neighborhood; because I honestly would have never wandered into Old North, much less called it my home. Simply put, there is a whole lot of steps that God has already helped guide if I pray with my eyes wide open.
So once again, I want to turn this back to you and to the Word. We should not let knowledge of what a place is like, or the people who live there, but rather let love build up our relationship with the place and the people. We should follow in Jesus’ refusal to get bogged down by institutions (well intentioned I might add) that deny or delay our love of neighbor. Finally, we should look for how Jesus, the great prophet from among us, is already working around us and in us. AMEN
Begin Reflection Log: 10th minute of the 14th hour of the 30th day of the 11th month of the 17th year of the 1st century of the 3rd millennia of the Common Era.
"I am feeling cautious of the changing seasons and wary of my own disciplines that help tether me to a greater sense of joy and productivity. My sleep schedule is tumultuous, my work-out schedule is nearly gone, my reading routine is absent, my Spanish lessons are few and far between, my eating habits are inconsistent, and my prayer life is less-than-desirable. These concerns have cropped up at different rates and have affected me to varying degrees, but all are worthy of mentioning. A negative result of this is that I am being much less intentional with the small moments, and am feeling at a loss for putting myself back on schedule. However, it is worth mentioning that controlled struggles, like this, can often help one grow more than when on cruise control.
Responses to the prompts:
1. Something rewarding about community life Having someone to have silly conversations with
2. Something challenging about community life Being more than just there (checking in)
3. Something I did with the parish I attend Cooked Breakfast!
4. Something rewarding about work at my placement site Having a boss who is invested and trusts in me
5. Something challenging about work at my placement site Enter winter, exit Youth
6. A highlight of this month Thanksgiving celebration in Ft. Smith, AR
7. A goal I have for next month Maintaining a balanced workout routine
8. Something I pray or deeply hope for That I might find ways to enrich my relationships in StL(Triangle)
9. A new practice I’m engaging Basketball indoors at North City YMCA
Let it be known that this is both a recapitulation of my month for outward digestion by my lovely audience as well as for inward digestion for my spiritual health."
End Reflection Log: 18th minute of the 14th hour of the 30th day of the 11th month of the 17th year of the 1st century of the 3rd millennia of the Common Era.
One of my favorite parts of this month was attending Convention. I had never been to a Convention before, and I had no idea what to expect. We got to hear about a lot of the works that various parishes around the diocese are doing as well as hearing from various church leaders.
I think the highlight was the youth lock-in though. Though I do not really consider myself a “kids” person, these older youths were hilarious and excited to be there. We played spoons, painted rocks with positive sayings, and did Compline.
This experience reminded me of how much we can close ourselves off to new and fun experience because we think of ourselves as “not a BLANK person.” While I agree that knowing yourself and your strengths are important, it was a good reminder not to close myself completely off to things that I may not necessarily consider a “Rebecca” thing.
A post by Rebecca Cole, 2017-18 Deaconess Anne House corps member who works with Grace Hill Settlement House.
It is often surprising to me how much I have to learn about something I have been immersed in my whole life. As a cradle Episcopalian, I thought that I had a general understanding of the Book of Common Prayer, church services, and history of the church. "Intentionality" is a big buzz word of Deaconess Anne House. It requires being actively engaged rather than assuming you will passively learn simply as a product of being in an environment. I have found myself constantly surprised at how much more there is to know. As silly as it may sound, one of the best parts of this year so far has been turning to a page other than Holy Eucharist Rite II in the BCP (often called the "dirty pages" because of how often it is used). It is remarkable how oblivious I could be about something that was part of my weekly routine for the last 22 years.
This idea has also been reflected in Wisdom Distilled from the Daily: Living the Rule of St. Benedict Today that we are reading for discernment. In it, Joan Chittister discusses how we should not just pray when we feel like it, but rather make it as constant of a daily practice as brushing your teeth. This in conjunction with Morning Prayer has created a calm and steadying way to begin my day. Too often, I believe I’ve had a scarcity mindset about my prayer life. It has been a challenging but rewarding practice to consider prayer as essential to my day as eating breakfast and going to work.
A reflection by Kevin Rysted, 2017-18 Deaconess Anne House corps member who works with EarthDance Farms!
Begin Reflection Log: 30th minute of the 15th hour of the 27th day of the 10th month of the 17th year of the 1st century of the 3rd millennia of the Common Era.
I am feeling wonderful in this season of life. The leaves are turning, autumn is descending upon us more and more every day, and with every passing week I am reminded of the delicate architecture of a year of service work in an intentional community. This reminder is usually found when I reflect on the assumption that service, like this at least, is a temporary affair. I remember this when I look forward to my next steps, or what my friends are doing across state lines, or what I was doing at this time a year ago.
I will present a few of the thoughts I have entertained: how have I, am I, and will I leave these movements stronger than I found them? Am I growing in faith, or simply paying lip service? What should I prioritize for my path to harden my heart in love--which of the many great options ahead of me is the one I am going to do? Am I paying enough attention and intention to all of the parts of myself that I hope to cleanse in Holy Fire?
Now moving forward onto some suggested questions!
1. Something rewarding about community life: Always having someone to pray with is pretty awesome.
2. Something challenging about community life: Balancing giving someone space/isolation
3. Something I did with the parish I attend: Theology on Tap
4. Something rewarding about work at my placement site: Getting youth excited about fresh, healthy food
5. Something challenging about work at my placement site: Trying to be fully impactful in 32 hours a week
6. A highlight of this month: Fun times with my mom, sister, uncle, and grandpa over my birthday weekend (also with DAH Crew+)
7. A goal I have for next month: Begin reading 1 Kings, From Wild Man to Wise Man, and *hopefully* Slaughterhouse-Five
8. Something I pray or deeply hope for: That my practices and desires will not impede, but rather enhance, my relationships in StL
9. A new practice I’m engaging: before bed: Spanish lesson, reading from a book, and going to bed at a fixed time
Let it be known that this is both a recapitulation of my month for outward digestion by my lovely audience as well as for inward digestion for my spiritual health.
End Reflection Log: 1st minute of the 18th hour of the 27th day of the 10th month of the 17th year of the 1st century of the 3rd millennia of the Common Era.
Peter Armstrong, 2015-16 served as Digital Missioner at Christ Church Cathedral in downtown St Louis. Currently, he is working at Sojourners on issues of faith and social justice in Washington, D.C. for one year before going to Yale Divinity School starting August 2017. He writes:
"It was in St. Louis that my eyes were opened to the justice issues of our time. I realized that one of my most important tasks, as a straight white man in discernment for priesthood, would be to model ally-ship by raising up the voices of those less privileged. My goal now for seminary is to listen, learn, and act to further the conversation around race and privilege in our country and our church."
Imagine 10 degrees and a Wind....
On Friday morning at 8 AM, our hearty community gathered at the bustop near our house. We had hot coffee, 48 donuts, a poster that said "We Hope For...." and warm smiles. It was FREEZING cold. Perhaps I already mentioned that? The bus stop was not busy. Many of those waiting had just eaten breakfast and delcined a donut or coffee. However, we had six hearty neighbors who were happy to get a coffee or a donut. Of the six, half were homeless. So, we didn't encounter a lot of people, but the ones we met shared their stories and their warmth. It felt important to be there. We left with chilly hands and warm hearts. Woud we do it again? Yes. For sure. And we will!!
Shown L - R: Jose, Christian, Katie, Sam and Mary Haggerty, Spritual Formation Worskshop Director
urprises in Community Life- Sam Prescott
Whenever strangers are placed together in a community, surprises are bound to occur. For me this year, I have found those surprises to be in the times when I realize how truly different we all are in within the community. Although all of our personalities differ, we all ended up in the same place at the same time. Even though we all may have chosen to be a part of Deaconess Ann House for a variety of reasons, we all chose it and are now living under one roof together.
Community life may not always be easy and fun like it may seem on the outside, but when it is easy and fun it’s a reminder of what we are trying to strive towards as we live together. We should be trying to create a life of lifting each other up and enjoying the year that we have together and when those moments do happen it is always a nice surprise to see a glimpse of what God’s kingdom will look like someday.
So while community life is hard and some days we may not want to get out of bed for morning prayer, it is usually those days when we want to give up that God shows up and surprises us the most.
Surprises in Personal Life- Katie Morse
I came to St. Louis for a year of spiritual discernment, hoping that this year would give me purpose, meaning, and direction, forming me into the person that God intended for me to be. My path toward growth has not been steady or without doubt. Living in Old North has opened my eyes to disenfranchised neighborhoods. My work with a local nonprofit allows me to see Christ through others every day.
Racial and socioeconomic lines I never noticed before are becoming clearer and clearer. I always liked to think of myself as a person of faith, but as the old adage goes “faith without works is dead.” I look at the injustice and ignorance in the world and realize that God’s kingdom is only realized when we stop separating ourselves from one another. I have been complicit in that separation without consciously realizing I was contributing to those divides through my passivity.
I knew there were deep wounds in the world but didn’t know how deep they ran. I feel a passionate sense of purpose to heal those wounds and truly see others.
Surprises in Service Work – Christian Davis, Gap-Year Intern
I joined Deaconess Ann House two months late. Immediately, I started working at Gateway180. I had never seen,or, for that matter, stepped into a homeless shelter before. Naturally, there have been many surprises within the first month. One of the bigger surprises is, unlike other shelters, Gateway180 keeps families together by allowing boys over the age of 14 to stay in the shelter with their families. The biggest surprise of all, is the joy and laughter I see occurring between clients and staff. We have a roof to share and we all share it with over 170 people.
One moment that stood out to me was my third day on the job. My supervisor, Kathy, asked me to put a client's resume on a public website, Indeed.com. After some technical difficulty and wifi malfunction, I decided to go work in the public computer lab with the client. The client, Ms. S, and I sat together for thirty minutes writing her resume out on the computer. Once we finished, I noticed that she was genuinely surprised that one person would take the time to help her to that degree. In our technological society, it is very easy to take such things for granted. Because of this, her utter joy struck me with amazing surprise.
Overall, I have enjoyed my time at Gateway180 so far. Now, I look forward to the surprises to come.
Jose Marks Surprises in Old North
Old North is in the midst of/sphere-heading political/social awakenings that are permeating all across the city!!! Community leaders and representatives are banding together, rallying and activating minds while having overly difficult yet pertinent conversations about the state of St. Louis’s political, gender, socioeconomic and judicial landscapes.
As the famous quote goes, “A riot is the language of the unheard,” & I’ve found comfort in the chaos of resounding voices. If rebellion’s inconvenient to the oppressive powers that be, then label me a proponent of systematic change and peace.
There’s a burgeoning movement and dialog that refuses to go away, and it’s rooted in representative accountability and love for one’s neighbors of all walks. There’s a paradigm shift, inadequate regimes are being challenged and defeated, those that stand for & with the people are overthrowing incumbents, marginalized voices are being heard and policies that benefit communities supposed to big business are being implemented. All’s beginning to appear a bit more joyous.
Surprised by Joy – The Rev. Rebecca Ragland
Greetings to you from Deaconess Anne House! In this time of national transitions, and global uncertainty, we thought it would be a faithful response to focus on the season with an eye toward being wonder-fully suprised.
The year of Jesus’ birth was uncertain and rife with danger. It was a season of transition, risk and fear. And born into it was the best surprise: our savior, Christ the Lord.
We’ve seen Jesus present in the bleakest circumstances of our neighborhood, relationships, work and faith. We’ve encountered the unexpected light that shines in the darkness and is not overcome. Our prayer for you is that you too will notice the surprises this season. May joy be yours.